Truth Will Set You Free

It’s here!  2016!  Like most of you, I’m not a huge fan of New Year’s Resolutions.  They are simply a way to expedite failure.  Resolutions aside, it’s hard to deny the “fresh start” appeal of January.  It’s cold outside.  Why not roast some squash, spiralize some zucchini, lay off the wine and clean out that super scary closet? 

Alongside the freshness of January can come a side order of stark reality.  There are no holiday parties and sanctioned, rationalizable spending sprees to blur the truths we may need to face.  This time of year more than any other, I start thinking of one of my favorite quotes: 

“The truth will set you free but first it will piss you off.”  Gloria Steinem

I love that quote because when I take a mental inventory of truths that have set me “free” mentally and emotionally, they have, most definitely, pissed me off first.    

One such truth is one we all have to face at some point or another.  It turns out, the only lasting path to a healthy body, mind and spirit is through super boring stuff:   exercise, eating well, getting enough sleep, not zoning out when talking to our children and husbands, not drinking a ton, etc.

Yuck.  Those things have no jazz!  No spice!  No glittery appeal! It’s much more thrilling to think we can eat half a watermelon and one macadamia nut, do 7 butt clenches and wait the requisite 10 days for our bikini bodies to arrive.  Or that we can watch Bravo full-time and still have a connected, satisfying relationship with our family members.  It takes time to do all that other stuff.  We’re busy. 

Who among us doesn’t want to game the system?   We all know that nothing sweetens the joy of getting a new purse more than getting that purse for sale.   We all want the best deal on our new house, our new car, our new anything.  We are culturally hardwired to believe that there’s a faster, better, easier, cheaper way than the one all those “regular” suckers have to take.  We are special, so it’s easy to be seduced by the idea that there is a “trick” or a “shortcut” that will get us out of all that boring, time-sucking work. 

The truth that may piss you off:  You may be able to get a deal on a new car or a new house, but you can not get a deal on a healthy mind, body and spirit.  The phrase “you get what you pay for” has never been more true.   You can not find a healthy body, mind and spirit on sale.  Everyone, even Gisele and Tom, earn them in the most boring of ways:  Intention toward healthy behavior, every day.  Not during a grueling two week stretch in February before Spring Break.  Not once last Wednesday for 13 minutes.  Every day.  Especially on the days you don’t want to.  Booooooorrrrriiiiiinnnnnnnnggggg.  I know.   

The “will set you free” part comes from from embracing whatever truth is being presented to you.  When you accept a situation as it is, you have the opportunity to move out of the space of anger and fear.  Anger is really just fear in disguise anyway.  Usually we’re afraid of making a change because we’ve told ourselves a story.  Maybe the story in your head is that the change will remove all fun from your life, make you uncomfortable, or cause you to fail.  OR we get stuck in the fiction that we have some special set of circumstances that make the change impossible.  That particular story is comforting because it allows us not to change.  We tell ourselves a million reasons why we can't make the change, blink and hope the urge goes away. Acceptance allows us to stop spending time resisting the change and get down to the business of making the change.  

In the case of mind, body and spiritual health, I’m not here to give you an action plan because I believe it is too individual.  Once you accept whatever truth is coming up for you, you can begin investigating how to get it done.  Because I know you are a resourceful grown up with several devices at your disposal, I am confident the information will come.  It has been my experience that once you decide to make a change, help magically starts to show up.  Only you know what workouts you find vaguely appealing (Tracy Anderson, anyone?), what small changes or additions you can make to your daily food intake (Green drink? Bok choy?), and what you can do to get your ass to bed at a reasonable time and stop the kids from waking you up.  There is no one size fits all.  

The truth I’m currently facing, which I only know because I’m very pissed off, is that my cake pop intake may have to be reduced.  I’m not ready to give sugar up altogether and the phrase “juice cleanse” makes me bristle, but the fiery, adolescent-style acne on my chin is speaking to me pretty loudly:  “I know you eat healthy, dude, but chill on the pops.”  Damn.  Here I go!  

Happy, happy New Year!!

Keely

Crowding Out

Happy New Year!  I am so grateful to each of you who read what I write.  I have many more thoughts to share in 2016, and look forward to sharing the appropriate ones with you.  Who knows?  The perfect shade/formulation of peachy pink lipstick could be coming our way in 2016.  The possibilities and promises of a new year are simply intoxicating, aren't they? 

It turns out that writing requires many minutes of consecutive thought and with my children home from break, consecutive minutes of thought are fleeting.  I didn't want to leave you without a blog this week, so I decided that this topic applies to most of us as we approach January with a renewed need for veggies.  

Do you ever think you made something up, only to discover it already exists?  I swear I was overusing “borderline (wasted, itchy, etc.)” way before I’d ever heard of Chelsea Handler.   Peanut butter and chocolate?  Seemed subversive as a 7 year-old.

Recently, I was on the phone with my most favorite, most passionate, most knowledgeable health coach, Leslie Kocher (full disclosure, she is also my sister).  I was telling her about a blog I was planning on writing about adding healthy stuff instead of taking away bad stuff.

“You mean “Crowding Out”?  

“Um, what?  I haven’t named it yet.”  

“‘Crowding Out'.  In the health world it’s a term we use to describe the concept where, for example, you don’t take the white potatoes off of your plate, you add broccoli.  Over time, the healthy stuff takes up more room than the unhealthy stuff.  Eventually your palate starts to call for more foods that nourish you.”

“So I didn’t make it up then?”

“I have to go.”

It seems like everyday on the Today Show there is some study that proves it is NO JOKE Americans are killing themselves with the very thing that is meant to sustain them; food.  Is it the food manufactures, big industry marketing, big industry lobbying, fast food, lack of awareness, GMO's, lack of availabilty, chemicals, or sugar?  There are many more questions than answers.  

I believe there is no "one" solution.  For most women, food choices and eating habits are as individual, personal, and emotional as their upbringing or lipstick preference.  For me, about six years ago I got sick of thinking SO MUCH about food and whether or not something was going to make me fat.  If you tell yourself you can’t have fries, chances are you are going to want nothing but fries.  BUT, I liked the idea of ingesting healthy stuff with the fries.  I was "crowding out" before I knew "crowding out" was a thing.  I simply called it "eating fries and salad."  

Over time, I noticed that I was taking myself  off of the “caffeine is bad for you, caffeine is good for you, eggs are bad for you, eggs are good for you” carousel of medical studies.  More and more, I was running with how my body felt ingesting those items, with Michael Pollan's genuinely brilliant quote in the forefront of my mind, "Eat food.  Not a lot.  Mostly plants."  I am still challenged by the "not a lot" bit.  

“Eat food. Not a lot. Mostly plants.”

— Michael Pollan, In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto

It turns out I don’t want to live in a world where bread and olive oil are off limits (I don’t have a gluten allergy or sensitivity of which I’m aware.  If you do, God bless you). Giving up cake pops is outside of my willingness.  The joy of going out to dinner with friends shall not be squashed because I went macrobiotic that morning!   To be clear, I care very much what I put into my body.  I'm just no longer interested in following the medical study of the minute and telling myself that I can't have something I love because it's going to kill me.  My goal is to tune into what my body knows to be true instead of obsessing over every crumb.  That's why you might see me around town with a cake pop and a side of snap peas.

So, I have a kale smoothie with some other assorted greens every single day.  For six years now.  And in the morning I have steel cut oatmeal instead of processed oatmeal.  And I add chia seeds.  And I drink unsweetened almond milk and chew on blueberries.  And if I want a crispy grilled cheese for lunch (organic, hormone free), I don’t beat myself up about it.  I put it on a plate, crowd that baby out with a huge salad and think about lipstick or the world’s problems or how to get one kid to soccer while getting the other to dance.

If you want off of the “I think about food too much” carousel, give “Crowding Out” a try.   It's so genius you might just think you made it up!!!  

Side note:  "Crowding Out" works in areas other than food.  Try crowding out binge watching Bravo with meditation.  Or adding fascia rolling to your wine drinking time.  Careful on that one.

Keely

Skin Help for the Holidays

Because I am living gently, my original brainstorm for this week's post was something along the lines of "Merry Christmas".  Then, I tried something so delightfully satisfying and effective on my hustle-and-bustle distressed face I figured I had an obligation to report my findings.

Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay is considered a "Cult Favorite" in the beauty world.  Despite a keen awareness that cults are to be avoided at all costs especially since I am without murderous intentions, if you tell me that a beauty product is a "cult favorite" suddenly I'm looking for a charismatic leader, putting on comfortable, white clothing and wondering how I join.  I've never denied my susceptibility to marketing, but it's even a surprise to me that marketing a product as a "cult favorite" is the fastest way to get me to try it.

The Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay is $9.99 at Whole Foods and $7.50 on Amazon.  Whuuut?  It is also 100% Calcium Bentonite Clay, which means it is without chemicals and parabens and all the stuff our Facebook feeds are telling us are no good.  

The price and chemical make-up are not even the funnest part.  The past week, my skin endured an unprecedented five nights in a row of party makeup, less than 8 hours of sleep, and significant sugar infusion.  The universe sensed that my skin needed help and put the Aztec Healing Clay in my path at Whole Foods.  It's a powder that you mix with equal parts apple cider or water into a paste.  You put the thick paste on your face for 5-20 minutes depending on the sensitivity of your skin.  Wash it it off with warm water.  They say your face may be red, but it goes away.  Mine wasn't.  Maybe because I used water instead of apple cider vinegar.  

My skin looks looks like I just got a facial.  My pores look smaller (because they are cleaner, the experts say your pores don't actually shrink), and my skin looks clearer.  I love a beauty ritual and use masks weekly if not more.  My skin has never looked this fresh, even after the $40 mask I thought I liked!  The only downside is a possible plumbing issue down the road.  The clay is thick.  I read that you can use a big bowl of water to take it off and put the clay-ey water in the yard.  I may.  I may not. 

So, head to Whole Foods and grab this stuff.  Stick in on your face while you wrap presents and make cookies or clean your house for company!

I hope you are all enjoying this magical time of year, especially since chances are YOU are the one creating all the magic!  Take a breath, you're doing great!

Keely

Gentle Check-In and a Fresh Face

It’s here.  Full-swing holiday merriment!  If you decided to participate in the “Year of Living Gently”, my guess is things are going great!  You may have had 3 (9) glasses of wine at your neighbor’s party, but you’re taking care of yourself with a workout, some sleep, a good 15 minutes of silence and an apologetic text.  I’m guessing you’re also crowding out those awesome “what’s in these?  Cheese?” appetizers with some jicima and yogurt dip.  Well done.  

If you haven’t been gentle with yourself, the power is always in the present moment.  Go for a run, return that shirt you bought for no reason and start fresh right now.  You’re going to have fun this weekend and you don’t have to drink and eat your face off in order to do it.  You’ve got this.

I’m also pretty sure you have your smokey eye look squared away.  Maybe it’s the unusually warm weather, but I’ve been interested in a different approach to my holiday makeup.  While my obsession with lipstick is well documented, I have an affinity for blush that rivals my love of lipstick.  I think a flushed cheek and light reflective skin is the cornerstone of the “fresh” look I’ve been desiring as of late.  Here are some products that have been helping me reach my goals:

Niod Photography Fluid Opacity 12%

I stumbled across this while doing some browsing on the world wide web.  It’s a primer-type thing that promises to make you look better in pictures by reflecting light.  Here’s the description:

A novel approach to creating a foundation for skin that reflects even radiance in life and very specifically through the camera lens, this instant treatment is serum-textured but contains a wide array of light refracting prisms, tone and hue correctors and topical photo-finishing technologies to offer even radiance within seconds.  

Wow.  The website talks about this product with the intensity of a pharmaceutical, which appeals to the product lover in me.  I am also a sucker for anything that comes in a dropper bottle because it makes me feel like a scientist with a legitimate interest instead of a woman just trying to look decent. 

You can mix it with foundation or use it as a primer before foundation OR EVEN alone on the skin.  I like it.  I’ll let you know if I look extra awesome in my holiday photos.  Here's a picture of me wearing the Niod Opacity Fluid (with no fore thought or prep, which will come across clearly).  I'm wearing the primer and no other highlighter/light reflecting stuff.  I'm at my desk.  There is no filter.

Check it out and see if it’s something up your alley.  Free shipping.

For my foundation recommendations, please see my Radiance post and my Foundation post.

Now, blush. 

I have some good news/bad news.  If you are like me and wondering if there is more stuff you can apply to your face, this is good news.  If you’re new to blush and think it’s a hassle, this may be bad news.  Your best holiday “fresh” faced look is going to be achieved with both a cream (liquid) blush AND a powder blush.  I know.  Two things.  Layering the products helps them stay on so you look as good in the beginning of the night as in the end, provided you had a reasonable number of drinks.

Favorite liquid blush:

Armani again.  Surprise!  Giorgio Armani Maestro Fusion Blush.  Also comes in a dropper bottle (science again!).  This stuff is SUPER concentrated and looks so naturally "flushed" on the face.  You need 1/4th of a drop, seriously.  I put said tiny drop on my hand and then use my finger to dab it onto the apples of my check.  You’re going to be blending in circles FAST.  Looks like you just did jumping jacks.  So good.  Three colors.  I like the beautifully named “300”. 

Next, powder blush.

There are millions from which to choose.  I like Bobbi Brown “Nectar” because I read it was a universally flattering shade.  I agree.  Looks very good on top of the Maestro blush above.  Simply take your blush brush and apply to the apples of the cheeks.

Bronzer:

So may good ones.  I bought the Charlotte Tilbury Filmstar Bronze and Glow bronzer and I like it.  I don’t use the highlighter because I’m crazy in love with the Becca Highlighters, but the bronze is a good color.  If you’re interested in spending as much money as fast as you can, Hourglass has one called Ambient Bronzer that is good too. 

If you’re featuring your cheeks, I think a natural eye with a pretty lash is a good fit.  For lips, you can go either way.  My favorite fresh lip looks are:

Tom Ford Matte Lipstick in Pink Tease

Simply awesome.  Versitile.  Tom Ford.  Matte without the dryness.  So good.

Giorgio Armani Rouge Ecstacy in Flesh

On me, this color looks like a sweet, almost bright pink.  You may want to head to the counter to find a good color match.  This formulation wears more like a balm.  Feels nurishing on the lips.  

Dior Addict Hydra Gel Core Mirror Shine Lipstick in whatever you like at the store.

Dior just reformulated these.  They have oils that make them feel really good on the lips.  More of a sheer coloring.  I like Girl.

I don’t do a setting mist all the time, but this season I find it helpful.  Try Urban Decay’s All Nighter.  Spray on face when makeup is done and dance the night away!  It works!

Go get 'em!

Keely